What If
by purpleheart10
Summary: What if the iCarly we knew never existed? What if things were totally different from the very start? Even then, the universe finds a way in order for things to end up just like they're meant to be. AU.


"Carly…" she never really liked that tone, especially in the morning. The way he said her name only meant one thing. She was in trouble.

Again. Like always.

She sighed heavily, rolled her eyes at him, and pretended she never heard anything. Carly made her way to the kitchen, completely aware that her dad was following her.

"Your teacher called." He sounded disappointed but it was all becoming too old for her.

She stopped pouring for cereal for a while and opened the fridge. "What did the whackjob say this time? Don't believe anything she says. You know how miserable her life is, dad. She's pathetic and she hates me. It's pretty obvious."

He tried to understand her. "She doesn't hate you, Carly."

"She does!" she shouted. "Because I'm not like Spencer! I'm not that Shay who joins Math competitions and is loved by everyone at school!"

"It doesn't have anything to do with Spencer!" he sat beside her and held her hand. "And you were once that kid."

"Well… not anymore, Dad. I hate school now. I hate everyone at school. I just hate it."

"I hate my job too because all I do is sit in front of a computer all day but that doesn't mean I won't go to work."

She stopped for a while. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on, Carlotta!" he snapped. "Ms. Briggs said you weren't going to school for two weeks now! Where on earth do you spend those days?" Before Carly could answer her dad, he cut her off. "And don't tell me that's a lie because what good would come out of it? You've been like this for seven months now! You've been ruining your life ever since your…"

She looked up to him. "Since what, Dad? Since mom died? Yeah, I know! Because I was there when she died, remember? I put my hand inside her chest to stop her from bleeding out while waiting for that stupid ambulance! I was there when her heart stopped. I felt her heart stop!"

Her dad sighed in defeat. "I know it's been hard for you, baby. But it's been going on for too long already. You're only sixteen. We'll get through this. Spencer can help you too."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't need Spencer." It was half-true. She was glad that he was almost never home because of law school but at the same time, she missed her brother dearly.

"He's trying to close the gap between the two of you but you always make it so hard for him."

She was tired of hearing the same words every day. Spencer this, Spencer that. Sure, he was a good brother but he was too good… so good that everyone thought of her worse. And that was enough to hate him too.

"I'm going to school." She grabbed her backpack, leaving the untouched cereal on the table. "You can call that miserable nutjob later if you want to confirm that."

"Carly!"

She slammed the door.

* * *

School wasn't her favourite place either. She wanted to bail as soon as she stepped inside.

Wendy, her ex-best friend, and some of the girls stopped hanging out with her when she decided to have her ears pierced more that thrice and failed her subjects at the same time. She hated them as soon as they kicked her out of the group. The girls who were once her friends became strangers to her… strangers who couldn't even look at her and sit with her during lunch and just talk to her to ask if she was even okay.

She hated her teachers because they all looked at her in disgust. She would often hear them saying how she was nothing special, how she was so much different from her brother who used to be one of Ridgeway's most precious students.

Carly kept her head down as she headed to her locker. Walk and ignore everything, she reminded herself.

"Sorry!" A guy apologized after accidentally bumping into her. He was playfully chasing one of his basketball friends and he didn't see her.

Of course, no one ever _saw _her ever since.

He was kind enough to bend down and help her pick up some of the books she dropped. If that were someone else, she'd just be left there without even an apology.

It took her by surprise but she couldn't help herself.

"Just go."

He still smiled at her because it was his fault. "No. Let me help. My fault."

She looked up and saw him.

She hated him too. She hated thinking about running her hand through his perfect hair. She hated his gorgeous brown eyes and his amazing smile. She hated that she wanted him to notice her but he never did because he's perfect and everyone's too in love with him for him to even know her name.

"I don't need your help." She knew she does.

"Sorry." He apologized again and it was too sincere for her. "I was just trying to…"

And again for the second time that day, Carly walked away.

Like any other gym class, she just sat at the bleachers with her headphones on while the girls play volleyball in front of her. Coach Dan had given up on her six sessions ago and pretty much just let her do whatever she wanted to do in his class.

At least she showed up for class this time. He thought to himself.

Carly took out her special notebook and continued her last work. She was trying to remember every detail and she was really good at it. It was one of the things that would get her through the day and for a girl like her, that was saying a lot.

She was starting to smile as she admired her own work except there was that ball that almost hit her and the pencil slid across the paper.

"Watch it, Puckett!" she shouted at the spiker but all she got was an eye roll.

She sighed and fixed what Sam had done to her drawing. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

The ball was so stupid it hit her this time. She held her head, kept it cool for a second before approaching the court to confront her.

"What the hell is your problem, Sam?"

"The only problem here is you, Shay! Get over yourself!"

Carly pushed her but she pushed back and suddenly, it became chaotic. Coach Dan blew his whistle for the millionth time, trying so hard to get to the girls.

Wendy and the others tried to separate them while the other half of the class cheered for a raging catfight. The was nothing exciting more than two girls wrestling each other on the ground, clawing, pulling hairs, and just shouting at each other.

Carly already had a scratch on her cheek when they finally got separated from each other. The angry words were still fired continuously and it took over the whole gym.

"You're such a problem child!" Sam angrily cried as Wendy held her back.

"Sorry I'm not little miss perfect like you, Sam!" she shouted back. "Sorry because your biggest problem ever in life is how to style your pretty blonde hair every freaking day!"

"You're just jealous because no one likes you! You're a freak, Carly Shay! That's why you have no friends!"

"Why on earth would I be jealous of you? Iris thinks your boobs are bigger than your brain and Mia hates the way you walk. Brad broke up with you because he hooked up with your so-called best friend, Tina! So why would I be jealous of your friends?"

Sam was taken aback with the words thrown at her. When Carly thought she won, she freed herself from Coach Dan's grip, grabbed her backpack and left the gym.

She was so mad she wanted to punch someone in the face. Sam's words echoed inside her head. She was a freak and she had no friends and it never really mattered until now.

"Carly?" she looked up and there he was again, on his way to the gym for basketball training. He saw the cut in her face and the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Here." He took out her handkerchief but she slapped his hand before it even reached her.

"Get lost, Freddie."

She ran and ran fast before she could say sorry for hurting his hand because she couldn't stop the tears anymore. When she thought it was safe and no one was around, she stopped.

_He knew my name._

* * *

She tossed her bags, gave the piece of paper to the teacher in front, and glared at the only student she was in detention with.

Sam glared back at her but Carly decided to just ignore her. She chose to sit at the back of the room.

At least detention was better than any of her classes. She could just sit around and do nothing without anyone telling her what to do. It was better than going home and spending the rest of the day awkwardly with her father who would always try to talk to her and never give her peace of mind or her brother Spencer who was trying his best to be the best brother but would always end up being hated by her.

Carly looked up and saw Sam approaching her when Mr. Howard left the room to take a call. She balled her fist on the table and waited for her to strike but she didn't.

She sat down beside her.

"Sorry." She whispered and it took her by surprise. "I wasn't trying to hit you earlier. I was just out of focus and…"

She wanted to say she was sorry too. It was an accident and she over reacted but the words came out as "I don't care. Just go. Leave me alone."

Sam sighed.

"I found out last night that my mom and my dad were filing for a divorce." She started. "I… We were happy, you know? And I didn't know how the hell it happened. I just went home and it would be so much better if I found them arguing. But they weren't. They were sitting on the dining table, talking to each other like they weren't even married at all, like they were strangers. It turns out they were just doing it for me. Two years and I never had a clue that my parents were just doing it for me."

Carly still didn't say a word. Sam, a girl she barely knew, was pouring her heart out to her and it was new and Carly didn't know what to do or what to say.

"You must think I'm weird because we're not friends and here I am, talking to you about my family and all that shit." Sam laughed bitterly. "It's just… ah, how can I say it?"

"You know, I'm not good at this." Carly dismissed.

"I know you're not my friend but I also know that you're not gonna judge me." Sam explained.

Carly was surprised that when Sam finally looked at her, she smiled faintly.

"I'm also sorry about what I said to you this morning." Sam continued.

"Let's just forget about it." She finally muttered as she tried to smile faintly at her. "And I'm sorry about what I said about your friends. I was just…"

Sam laughed softly. "I knew about Tina and Brad. I broke up with him when I found out. He just likes telling everyone that he was the one who dumped me. And they were never my true friends. I knew what Wendy and the girls were saying behind my back. This is high school, you know." She laughed awkwardly.

"Oh."

There was silence between them for a minute.

"So… where did you get your highlights?" Sam asked, trying to make conversation.

"I did it myself." Carly answered with a smile and she let her touch her hair.

"No way!" Sam cried. "Can you do mine?"

She laughed.

* * *

"Going home?" Sam asked as the two of them leave the room at the same time.

Carly shook her head. "No. My dad would just… and my brother…" Carly stopped and looked at Sam. "We don't have to do this. Like talk and everything. And besides, it's complicated."

Sam kept quiet as a sign that she understood, grabbed her hand and took her to the parking lot. "Come on. I know somewhere we can go."

Carly got in Sam's car and thought that wherever Sam was taking her was better than home. Of course, as long as she's not doing some drugs, it was good. Carly maybe a problem child but she knew better than ruining her own life. Besides, Sam looked nothing like that too.

"Where are we going?" Carly asked curiously, strapping on the seatbelt as she did.

"A party." Sam answered proudly. Then she pulled out something from her purse. "Sandwich?"

Carly accepted it, smiled, and muttered thanks to which Sam replied with a smile.

"You know, you're pretty okay, Shay."

It was the first time that day that Carly smiled. "You too, Puckett."

Sam and Carly made their way inside a house full of Ridgeway students. It turned out that the party was hosted by the senior basketball captain who would be graduating and turning over the position to another varsity member.

"How did you get invited to this?" Carly asked amidst the loud music playing as they made their way inside.

Sam smiled. "I have a friend from the basketball team."

She led Carly to the food table. "I gotta use the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Carly nodded, looked around, and decided that it was best to just stay where she was. Some of the students knew her and stared at her like she had no right to be there. Some guys would smile and whisper to one another while few would check her out because she was still one of the prettiest in school. Some were just scared she'd bite their head off.

"Hey." A guy who was getting some snacks greeted her. She knew he was a member of the team but she didn't know his name. Maybe he wasn't that good of a player. "I saw your catfight with Puckett earlier. You were badass in there."

She took a sip of her punch and just rolled her eyes at him.

"Carly, right?" he asked. "Carly Shay?"

"Whatever." She answered, hoping Sam would get back soon or he'd go away.

But he laughed. "Why are you so serious?"

"Because you're stupid!" Carly retorted.

"What did you say?!" he was already in front of her.

"Didn't you hear? I said you're stupid!"

"Chris!" someone called him up and Carly felt relief. She was scared but she didn't show it. She never wanted anyone to know that she's vulnerable. "You're drunk, man. Anyway, Captain's looking for you. "

The guy, who turned out to be Chris, looked at her one more time then vanished into the crowd.

"I'm sorry about him." Freddie apologized sincerely as he picked up some chips from the table. "Don't take it the wrong way but he just finds you beautiful tonight."

Carly ignored him and paid attention to her punch.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Freddie finally asked but she just looked at him and rolled her eyes. She wanted to say she wasn't mad at him. That she was just… anything but not mad. She couldn't put into words what she wanted to say so she just kept quiet and wished he'd go away too because he was making it so hard for her to think straight and keep her attitude where she couldn't care for anything any less.

Freddie stood beside her and smiled. "Come on. Just tell me why."

"Because… you're stu.."

"Woah, woah." Freddie stopped her. "Chris maybe stupid but I'm not. So you can't say that."

"What makes you think you're not stupid?" Carly asked, surprised by how easy it was to talk to him.

"Because I'm a straight A student." Freddie answered arrogantly. "I'm a member of the basketball team which won the championship twice in a row, I won the science fair last year, and I'm this close to inventing the cure for smallpox."

Carly, not even a single bit annoyed at him, smiled. "Good point. I guess that doesn't make you stupid then."

Freddie beamed. "Right?"

"Nerd!" Carly whispered.

He opened his mouth in exasperation. "Take that back, Shay!" he threatened playfully and they both laughed. Carly never felt this good in a long time. She found Freddie charming and harmless and he seemed too nice for a student who was almost perfect from hair to toe.

"There you are!"

The moment was over when Sam made their way to both of them. She gave Carly a smile before pulling in Freddie for a brief hug which made Carly feel something she couldn't quite explain.

"Hey, Sam!"

"Freddo! I see you've found my new friend here."

Carly smiled faintly. Being regarded by Sam as a _new friend _sounded nice.

"New friend?" Freddie reacted surprisingly. "Weren't you two the ones in the gym this morning or I just heard wrong?"

Carly and Sam looked at each other and laughed.

"Nope!" Sam answered and Carly backed her up with a nod. "Not us."

"Oh." He seemed confused.

"Before I forget, the ex-captain's looking for the new team captain so you better hurry along because I'm planning to show Carly how mama moves on the dance floor."

Freddie laughed and nodded at Carly who smiled back at him before disappearing to meet his teammate.

"So…" Carly started hesitantly. "Is Freddie our new basketball team captain?"

"Not yet official but I think he's a good candidate." Sam explained and she noticed something in Carly's face. Sam knew that Carly wanted to ask something else by the way she wasn't meeting her eyes.

Sam laughed. "He's my best friend, Carls. Oh, Can I call you that? Carls sounds nice. Anyway, we've been best friends for five years so… No. We're not a couple. He's like a brother to me."

Carly felt her heart return to its normal beating. "Well, you two would've been a great couple." Of course, that was a lie.

"Would we?" Sam raised her brows at her. "I think he likes someone else. And like I said… Brother."

_So Freddie likes someone. _Crap.

* * *

"Carls!"

"Hmmm…"

Carly felt hear head spinning and everything around her was a blur. Her head was throbbing strongly and she felt like she was going to puke any minute.

"What happened?" she asked groggily as Sam tried to drag her outside the party.

"You got drunk. Obviosuly." Sam laughed. "I should take you home before you pass out. Man, you're heavy!"

"Saaaaaam…" she was having a hard time walking and if Sam weren't holding her, she'd easily be on the ground . "I like cupcakes."

"What?" Sam asked. "Why on earth would you tell me that now? You're officially, a hundred percent drunk, lady!"

As Sam helplessly drag her towards her car, Freddie, who was outside talking to some of his teammates, approached both of them.

"Heading home?" he asked, glancing at Carly who looked like she was sleeping except she was smiling cutely. "I see your friend had a lot of drink tonight."

Freddie took over for Sam whose shoulder was already sore from supporting Carly's weight. He circled her arms around his neck and held her on her waist.

"Thanks, Freddie. And yeah, she was unstoppable so I've decided to just take her home before she humiliates herself in there." Sam explained as she took out her car keys from her purse. "Can you strap her in the backseat?"

Freddie didn't move. "You know, Carly and I kinda live in the same building so I think it might be best for you if I just take her home."

"Yes. Carly lives in the same building as Freddie." Carly childishly muttered and Freddie looked at her preciously. "Carly likes cupcakes."

Sam laughed. "Sam knows Carly likes cupcakes." She then turned to Freddie before getting in her car. "Thanks, dude. Make sure she gets home safe."

"I will." Freddie assured her.

Sam finally got in and looked at Carly. "Rest your pretty little head when you get home. Or at least after your dad gives you a little speech. Night, cupcake."

"Night cupcake!" Carly repeated as she waved at her friend who had already took off.

Freddie looked at Carly then. "Let's get you home, shall we?"

"Carly and Freddie?"

He laughed. "Yes, yes. Carly and Freddie." He was having a hard time dragging her because she could barely even walk. "Can Freddie carry Carly to his car?"

Only when she didn't answer that he realized she'd already dozed off. He then proceeded to carry her towards his car without her permission. Freddie made sure she was comfortable in the backseat but decided against it. He carried her again and strapped her on the passenger's seat. He reclined the chair a little so she could rest properly. Then, without thinking about it, he brushed off the hair covering her sleepy face.

He stopped for a while and stared at her. As if she knew, her lips pursed into a half-smile which made him smile too. Freddie sighed, run his hands through his hair, and then closed the door gently.

* * *

"I like you." He blurted out. "I don't know why… I just… I think you're beautiful and smart and behind those things you put out yourself to be, I know there's something more."

"Mmmm…"

"You're beautiful." He repeated, glancing at her.

"Anyway, I'm glad you and Sam are friends now. Maybe the three of us can hang out. That would be nice. My mom knows your mom. She said she was beautiful just like you. Mom would love you." he smiled. "For me."

"I wish you'd speak." He continued. "But I guess you're too drunk to even know or understand what the hell I'm saying. It's easier to talk to you this way because I know you're not going to remember any of this."

"And I don't know why you hate me so much. You won't let me help you or you don't look at me as I look at you or you just ignore me when we're at school. But as long as I see you every day and bump into you from time to time, I'm totally cool living with that constant pain."

He laughed at himself. _What on earth am I saying?_

He stopped the car as they arrived in the parking lot. He removed his seatbelt and before getting out to help her, he remembered something. He reached out for his bag in the backseat and took out something.

"I found your notebook in the gym this morning, by the way. I was supposed to return it but I guess I forgot. Don't worry. I didn't open it because it looks like a diary or something."

Seeing she was still asleep, he fought with himself. He knew she'd be mad but curiosity was getting the best of him. He looked at her again and his eyes were apologizing for him.

He started to turn the pages and was quite surprised that it wasn't a diary after all. It was full of pencil sketches of things and he was amazed. She was a great artist and he envied her for drawing a perfect little bunny.

Freddie turned the pages some more and suddenly, it was as if he was looking at a mirror. He wanted to tell himself that it wasn't him except it looked exactly just like him and below was a clear cursive writing of his name.

And a heart.

He closed the notebook with a big smile on his face, apologized again, and put it in her bag. He then looked at the girl who had his heart for a long time now and brushed his finger on her cheek.

"I think I'm in love with you, Carly."

_#_


End file.
